Plane Etiquette: The Unwritten Rules of the Sky (And Why You Should Just "Let Them")

Travel can be, well, stressful. You're strapped into a metal tube with 150 strangers, sharing recycled air and three inches of personal space, for hours.

I'm currently reading Mel Robbins' "Let Them" in my Travel Advisor book club. Her theory was practically invented for air travel. The idea is simple: stop trying to control what others do, and focus on what you can control. Because trust us — you cannot control Karen in 14B. No one can.

Here's your survival guide, from check-in to touchdown.

Check-In: Let Me Get My Act Together

Before you even see the gate, the stress begins. Online check-in opens 24 hours before departure — set an alarm, because seat selection is a competitive sport.

Let me check in the moment that window opens. Middle seats are for people who forget.

And please, for the love of all things holy — let me have my confirmation number ready at the kiosk instead of scrolling through 847 emails while a line forms behind me. We've all been that person.

The Gate: Let Them Board First (Seriously, "Let Them")

The moment boarding is announced, roughly 200% of passengers stand up and crowd the gate — despite being in Group 5. 😠 - is that face for YOU?

Your seat isn't going anywhere. It has your name on it. Literally.

My travel tip? Stay comfortably seated until your boarding group is actually called.

Standing in the aisle 20 minutes early doesn't get you on the plane any faster—it just creates unnecessary clutter and stress for everyone, especially those who paid extra for priority boarding and are trying to access the lane they've reserved.

I'll happily sit back, sip my $7 airport water, and wait my turn to board a plane that's already settling in nicely. The only real race is for overhead bin space—so because you have to wait - either way - for your boarding assignment, be prepared to gate-check your carry-on.😒

The Overhead Bin: The Wild West of Air Travel

The overhead bin is sacred, finite space. It is not a storage unit for your winter coat, your personal item, AND your carry-on.

Let them be the person who tries to fit a rolling suitcase in sideways.

Let me be the person who packs efficiently, places my bag wheels-first, and sits down quickly. You are not the main character of boarding. None of us are.

The Armrest: The Middle Seat Accord

This is not up for debate. This is law.

The middle seat passenger gets both armrests. Full stop. No exceptions. No negotiations.

Let them have it. You chose the window. You chose the aisle. You got something in return. The middle seat person got nothing — no view, no escape route, just two strangers slowly encroaching on their personal space for six hours. The armrests are their consolation prize. Respect the Accord.

Let me be the window or aisle passenger who graciously yields, because karma is real and you will be in a middle seat one day.

The Window Blind: One Person, One Vote

The window seat comes with exactly one superpower: control of the window blind.

Let me be clear — if you are not in the window seat, you do not get a vote on the blind. You forfeited that right when you booked 14B.

That said, window seat friends — let them gently mention if the sun is directly in their eyes and they're trying to watch a movie. A little communication goes a long way at altitude. You can always close it once you've had your sunrise moment.

The Reclining Seat: Handle With Care

Ah yes. The great philosophical debate of our time.

Technically, you can recline. The button exists. It is yours to press. But at 5'11", the person behind you will be eating their pretzels off the top of your head.

Let them recline — it's within their rights.

Let me tap them gently on the shoulder and kindly ask if they'd mind waiting until after the meal service. Most people are reasonable humans. And if they're not? Let them be unreasonable (sucks to be them)

The Seat Kicker: A Study in Patience

Children kick seats. It happens. They are small, they are bored, and their legs don't reach the floor yet — so they use your lumbar support as a footrest.

Let them be kids.

Let me turn around with the warmest smile I can manufacture and say, "Hey little buddy, could you try not to kick?" Then make eye contact with the parent. That's usually enough. If it's not — deep breaths, noise-canceling headphones, and the knowledge that this flight will end.

The Chatty Seatmate: Bless Their Heart

You've just settled in, headphones on, show queued up — and your seatmate wants to tell you their entire life story, starting with their childhood in Ohio.

Let them talk. For a minute. Be human.

Then let me smile warmly, say "I'm so sorry, I really need to get some rest/work done/finish this show," put those headphones back on, and mean it. You are not obligated to be anyone's in-flight therapist. The headphones are a universal signal. Honor it. Use it.

Rush at Landing: Every Single Time

The wheels hit the tarmac. The seatbelt sign is still on. And yet — chaos. People leaping into the aisle, grabbing bins, performing some kind of standing yoga while the plane taxis for eleven minutes.

Let them stand hunched under the overhead bin for a full ten minutes while you sit comfortably and scroll your phone.

Let me be the zen traveler who stays seated, lets the rows ahead clear out, and walks off the plane without a single elbow to the ribs. Finishing last in the deplaning race still gets you to baggage claim at the same time as everyone else. The bags aren't there yet anyway.

The Bottom Line

Flying is a shared experience — and a test of our collective humanity. Mel Robbins got it right: you cannot control what the person in front, behind, or beside you does. You can only control yourself.

Let them recline, chat, kick (within reason), and hog the aisle.

Let me be prepared, be kind, be patient — and book through a travel agent who makes sure everything before the flight is so seamless, I can afford to be relaxed about everything that happens on it.

Safe travels, friends. You've got this. Probably.

We've all got one... What's the one thing that drives you crazy when you travel? Hit reply and tell me—I just might tackle it in a future issue!